Saying goodbye is never easy, saying goodbye to yourself and who you thought you’d be is harder.

Even though they aren’t real, you are losing a person who you cared deeply for so it’s unsurprising to be a grieving process with all five steps.

There’s first the stage of denial where you’ll likely deny that the dreamt future you isn’t lost and about who the real future you is. This often comes in waves; perhaps as we notice the changes in the little things or as we are perceived by new people we meet.

You’ll feel anger – including at the world – and, although the world likes to tell us so, it’s not a “bad” emotion; no emotion is bad, it’s how we respond to and use the emotion that matters. (I could write a whole piece on anger itself, maybe I will?)

The stage of bargaining is harsh with its what ifs that always dance as if these things are sure reality if this didn’t happen or if you’d have done this instead. Those what ifs also accompany an array of other sorts of bargaining and can be difficult to get past (but you will).

Then there’s the depression stage and this often comes with a sense of hopelessness in the future; it doesn’t feel worthy in comparison to the one so long dreamt about and we might start to think there’s no beauty or light within its folds.

At last we have acceptance; a complex beast. We may accept parts of the change and not others, we may have to accept a part more than once. It’s a tricky road and often we may tell ourselves that we haven’t met the finish line as fast as we should’ve but it’s not a race.

One important thing to remember, just like in any other type of grief, steps may overlap and it doesn’t mean that you’re stepping backwards.

So be kind to yourself, always; you deserve it.

(If you relate, I’m sending all my love your way. BTW, this is just from personal experience and hearing other’s stories. 💜)

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