just a cold to a healthy being
sorry not sorry, i’m jealous
can’t i have just a cold?
the naivety to believe
in simple black and white?
take a couple of Paracetamol
and not need bed rest, worry
about ending up in hospital
or know trauma from colds?
live where a cold’s just a cold?
you’re jealous of me
i “get to be lazy and rest”
meanwhile i’m jealous of you
for having just a cold
two ragged shards of glass
struck through canvas so fragile
a painting full of beautiful colours
in its centre a black hole, a portal
upon a blood-spattered floor
a snow-globe of dreams lays beside
one happy, healthy soul long lost
two knife-shaped splinters nowhere
to be found, unlike the ghost haunting
the scene relentlessly, achingly
still searching the scene for answers
finding only extra questions
in the thick, dense layers of a room
never so searched than these times
trying to run, heal, become alive again
but forever haunting the crime scene
to their own murder
read time: less than a minute
it wasn’t meant to be this way
of all the possibilities, never this
countless sunrises saw our plans
yet the story meant to evolve
any of the bountiful variations
that held me and you and joy
together, in which, we’d be a team
one that would conquer and win
the final sentence never ‘the end’
for there’d always be more
a happily ever after come to life
millions of possibilities, gold edged
not a single sunset will see
You have failed
apart from the fact
that those words are false
they are lies that conflict with fairness
whoever said so, perhaps a figure
of the wonderful being it faces
is so drowned with destructive fog
clouds upon clouds of falsity
it traps them by wall to wall fabrication
I used to think loving someone so much it hurts was bad. But then I learnt how it feels to go from thinking you’ll never be healthily (romantically) loved to finding your home, your safe place, your rock.
Tig Ellis
I thought I’d film my latest day surgery (and helped keeping me calmer by doing so), I have some other DITLs filmed – just needing editing – and I really want to get into filming more!
Dear October,
For once you treated me quite well
letting life blossom just as the leaves fall
sure you were ruthless too
are you even capable of doing otherwise
in this weird, troubled relationship
between me and you?
making dreams of old and new reality
even long some’s hope had faded
like an old photograph, restoration long overdue
stained over time with troublesome liquid
a decade after you began to be a foe
perhaps you’re trying to set a redo
it’ll never work but continue trying
next year and the year after I plead
one thing is for definite, so clearly true
even an apology will take much work
but one day maybe the hate won’t spew
Speak with you again next year,
Tig Ellis
(more…)
Tig Ellis - The Zebra With Rainbow Stripes 